wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
