Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i need some magic done to my vagina
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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