I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
