if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
White coat. Heels.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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