he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
