Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
