I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
