You're my little dorito
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
