In the future we'll all be gay
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
