Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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