apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
