Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
