I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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