I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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