Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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