I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
