I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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