Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
