Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
