You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
