We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
