I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
