You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think my moral compass just broke
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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