Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I love having hate sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
