she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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