he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
