"it" just moved
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
