i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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