Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Randomize
