and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
