Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
