there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
