Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What a dumb baby whore.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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