she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
