Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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