If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
