Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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