carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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