we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We had sex on a dog bed..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
