I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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