I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
