Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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