btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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