Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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