Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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