Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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