On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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