At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Boobs speak an international language.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
