His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
