i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
